Tuesday, April 13, 2010

I'll remember you

It's so hard, sometimes.....this business of missing someone I love.  Like a butterfly, it swoops in from nowhere and whispers in my ear...He's not here.  He never will be.  Then it flies away just as quickly and leaves me blinking back the tears...swallowing the painful lump in my throat.

This man was sitting about 3 rows in front of me at Nicholas' spring concert.  He was clearly someone's Grandpa.

I was taking pictures of the Junior Chorus pouring their hearts into a song.  And my eye wandered from the camera long enough to see This Man....bouncing his leg and tapping his fingers in time with the music.  Such a subtle movement.  Probably noticed only by me.

It flew in.........That's what Dad would do, but he's not here.......and flew back out.

Does this missing ever go away?

Do I want it to?

If I stop missing him...doesn't that mean I've also stopped remembering him?

Shouldn't I be thankful for the tears and the lump in my throat?  After all, they remind me of how much I loved him.  They remind me that he was here and he was important to me.  They remind me that he mattered.

"Don't cry because it's over.
Smile because it happened."
-Dr. Seuss

Yeah.  Thankful.  I guess I'll have to work on that.  I'm just not sure if I'm strong enough.

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