Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Either I need to buy a belt OR make sure I'm wearing clean underwear at ALL times

Depending on the time of day and how much salt I've recently consumed, my weight can fluctuate pretty wildly.  Lately, however, I've noticed it sloooowwwlllyyy creeping down!  When I weighed myself yesterday morning, I discovered that I'm in a "new decade".  Let me explain.

You don't seriously think I'll be posting my weight on this here blog, do you?  No way, man.  Instead, I'll refer to my weight in decades.  In other words, let's say that my starting weight were in the 130s (ya know...when pigs fly) and I lost enough weight to put me into the 120s (ya know....when pigs fly AND when hell freezes over).  I would simply say that I'm in a new decade.  But I'll make a deal with you.  If pigs fly, hell freezes over, and I get down to the 130s or 120s.....THEN I'll share the good news with you.  Of course, that might be tough to do because achieving that weight would require the amputation of some limbs and, naturally, I'd give up my arms first because, HELLO, I need to walk and would not be able to part with my legs.

I know what you're thinking....."Sweet MOSES this girl can ramble on."

Anyway.  After stepping on the scale and picking my jaw up off the ground....I put on my favorite capris and went about my business.  Except that I spent most of the day yanking my pants back up.  And at one point, I realized that I could pull the pants down WITHOUT unbuttoning and unzipping them.  Hmm...that could be embarrassing, no?

I sure wish I could take all the credit for this.  That would be so COOL.  I'd love to ramble on and on about blah blah exercise blah blah fruits yada yada veggies blah blah stopped drinking soda.


All the credit goes to a new medication I started which has left me with a craptastic appetite.  I eat about half the breakfast that I used to, nibble my way through the rest of the day, and eat a child-size portion of my supper.  I'm just not hungry.

Now if I could shake this soda habit, I'd have the body of Jillian Michaels by the 4th of July.

BWAAAHAAAHAAA!!  Whew...I can't even say that with a straight face!

1 comment:

  1. You crack me up. And also, happy anniversary, a bit late. Fourteen years together...that is awesome.


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