Tuesday, February 2, 2010

And the sky is a hazy shade of winter

Oh. Wow. Um, hello, Old Man Winter. Somehow, every year, I am shocked when you arrive.

When I turned the calendar from November to December, I knew you were on your way, so I don't know why I was surprised when you dumped a snowstorm on our heads just before Christmas.

And now that we're knee deep in the January/February blahs, I know that you'll probably be here for another 8 weeks or so. Feel free to leave at any time. I've already had enough of you. No, really, I'll even help you pack your bags! Would you like a brown bag lunch for your trip?

You see, Mr. Winter...you're a tough old bird to love. I could go on with an endless list of your flaws. But, you know....I'm trying to become more of an "if you don't have anything nice to say" kind of person. So I'll try my best to remember your redeeming qualities. I don't want to be the one responsible for the loss of your self esteem.

So, Old Man Winter, I love........

The cold, red cheeks and runny noses that indicate how much fun my kids are having in the snow.

An occasional snow-storm induced hibernation, complete with hot chocolate, popcorn, and a Shrek movie.

Fleece vests and brightly colored scarves and my fleece-lined mittens.

The lack of yard work. No grass to be mowed, no flowers to be watered, no gardens to be weeded, no pool to be cleaned.

Big, fat snowflakes.

The sound of the plow scraping the streets clean.

* * * * * * * * * * *

Oh who am I kidding?! I can't stand you! You overstayed your welcome about 4 weeks ago and it took me roughly 3 hours to come up with a list of things I like about you. You're like the "Uncle" who shows up at Thanksgiving dinner....freshly shaven, sweet smelling, and cheerful. But before long, you're drunk, drooling, scratching inappropriate itches, and telling racist jokes at the kiddie table. Everyone likes you at first....

I'm TOTALLY sick of runny noses, turtlenecks, asthma attacks, video games, my treadmill, and the daily "Do I HAAAVE to wear a hat and gloves?" debate.

GAH! Go away already! I miss opening my windows and wearing short sleeve shirts and running in the park.

Dumb winter......

You stink.

2 comments:

  1. Jessica is so depressed that the groundhog saw his shadow. she was stressed out about it this morning. I'll let her know you empathize with her so she knows she's not alone.

    ReplyDelete
  2. And the answer is...move south! That's what we're TRYING to do (if this house deal ever goes through).

    ReplyDelete

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