Fashion Police...To the rescue!

An open letter to the lady in the parking lot of BJs:

Dear Lady,

I'm going to take a stab in the dark and guess that 3 events might have recently transpired in your life.

1 - The electricity went out in your house this morning, causing you to dress in the dark.

OR

2 - You converted to a new religion that doesn't believe in owning mirrors.

OR

3 - Stevie Wonder became your Personal Fashion Consultant.

Whatever the case may be, I consider it to be my civic duty to let you know that black sweatpants, white gym socks, and chunky high heels do not make a very fashion forward statement. In fact, the only time this look might be flattering is if you're 3 years old and you're showing off your newly-acquired, self-dressing skillz. (In which case, it would also be acceptable if you were wearing a purple feather boa, a bridal veil, winter gloves, and a yellow raincoat covered in duckies.)

You're welcome.

Sincerely,
A fellow shopper (whose fashion sense isn't really THAT much superior to yours)