Look at this photograph....every time I do it makes me laugh

Okay. *deep breath* Here are the pictures taken at JCPenney 2 weeks ago (the woman who took the photos is the same woman we have every single time). Most likely, you'll look at them and think they're great pictures. You'll probably just see my incredibly adorable children (they are pretty cute, dontcha think?).

But, I'm a perfectionist, in case you didn't get the memo. It's a little known fact.

When I look at them, I see a photographer who was in a big fat hurry because there were 43 other people behind me waiting to take pictures and she had to MOVE FASTER so no one would start whining about "hooooow looooong do we have to waaaaaait."

Plus? We've had photos taken at this very same place that were so stunning, so breathtaking, so adorable that they brought tears to my eyes. So forgive me if I seem unfairly harsh. It's just that I'm well aware of what this photographer is capable of and it seems to me that she was waaay off her game this time.

As a side note, please forgive the crummy photo quality. I was too cheap to pay for the photos on disc so I could properly share them with you, oh devoted fans. No. I stood on a chair, put the picture on the table, and took a photo of it with my camera. This explains why you can see my green tablecloth behind the photos. Yes...my thriftiness knows no bounds.

Anyway, buckle up. I'm about to pick these things apart and it could get ugly.

The first picture is of Nicholas. No, you're not drunk...the picture really is crooked. Not crooked as in "let's be wacky and fun" but crooked as in "aw crap....the photographer was TOTALLY not paying attention."


















Also. Do you notice another telltale sign of my cheapness? Keep looking....look closer......THERE it is. The shoes. I hate, with every fiber of my being, spending money on things that will get used once or twice. So I don't spend frivolously on things like dress shoes (or dress pants, for that matter). Not a chance. I put them in jeans and sneakers and hope like hell that the photographer shoots them from the waist up. Clearly, that was not the case here.

And don't even get me started on that background. Clutter is my mortal enemy. Why on Earth would I want clutter in my pictures?! However, we were led into the wrong room....the room with this Christmas-y setup rather than the room with the plain colored backgrounds.

My kids fell in love. And begged, in unison, to "PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE LET US TAKE OUR PICTURES WITH THE TREE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASE!" It was one of those classic pick-your-battles kind of moments. If I said no and herded them into the other room, there would surely be tears and red eyes and snotty noses and pouty faces. So we stayed put. And the only teary, red-eyed, snotty-nosed, pouty face was mine.

* * * * * *

The next picture is Benjamin's. And he apparently has a lamp growing out of his head (?!!?!!?).

That's all I got.


















Next we have Alexa. The picture is cute enough, except her dark hair and dark dress blend in with the dark tree. Which wouldn't have happened against a different background. Like a, oh I don't know, maybe a WHITE background. Bitter, much?


















And the final individual picture is Rachel's. I almost feel bad looking at that sweet little face and picking the photo apart.

Almost.

If you were holding this photo in your hand in real life, you'd see the whisps of hair that are in her face. And again, her hair is just dark enough to blend with the tree.

*cough*whitebackground*cough*


















I got this collage-type picture to hang in my dining room. We got something similar 3 years ago, but Rachel wasn't in it (cuz, oddly enough, she was still in ME). So I wanted to keep the old one up, but I wanted a new one with Rachel, too. I don't really have a complaint about this...most of the cluttered up background is cropped out and the pics are pretty cute.

Although, I just have to say, I dare you to find an 8 year old boy who would willingly tilt his head to touch it with his brother's 6 year old head. I think we've finally reached the age where that "pose" needs to be outlawed. With the girls, it's cute. With the boys? Well....it kinda looks like they're dating.

I KNOW! "You HAD to go THERE, didn't you?!" Yes, I did. The head touch is cute when you're 3 or when you're dating. Otherwise, it's weird.


















* * * * * * *

Okay. So this is the big ray of sunshine among the clouds. Could this be any cuter?


















And finally....we have the group shot.

Did she NOT notice how Ben squeezed his face against Rachel's? Or how Nicholas is looking downward? Or how Alexa has a fakey smile? Or that Nicholas is not really smiling at all? Or that there's a nasty shadow behind Alexa?


















On the bright side, there's always next year.

Of course, there's also February. Maybe I'll take them back in a couple months when it's less crowded and get some different pics taken.

Cuz these? Are getting promptly filed in a photo album where we can pull them out in a year and LAUGH at how bad they are.